The 5 A's of Support

My family see's a family counselor every so often and we discuss certain things. One of those things is what support may look like to each of us. I didn't realize how different everyone's view is of support was until I started asking my husband and looking at what it means for me.

1. Affirm

Recently a client told me they wanted something orange, and she gave me a description of what she wanted. I took down the order and made it my business to go to the store to get some beads. Well...I went to Walmart, and I wasn't really satisfied with what they had but I bought them because it was the only thing I found that was orange. Anyway, I go home, and for about a day and a half I just had the beads sitting in the bag on the kitchen table. Finally, I showed my husband what this was and asked him for his opinion. "I don't know," he shrugged, "You know how to make it work, so do it!" When he went to work that night I got to work on them immediately. His words of encouragement was just what I needed to hear, and it also motivated me to try something different and research some things I've never tried to do before. At the time when I asked my husband for his opinion I wasn't looking for a suggestion or a recommendation, but for a simple response of whether he liked the beads or not. He felt like it was enough to work with and enough to make the customer happy. Not only that but he was so confident in my skills he kept me uplifted by telling me that I could make it work. I called him that night to tell him that I made the earrings and that his words helped me to feel way more confident in myself than I was.

2. Advocate 

The one thing I do like is when people spread the Word about my work. That helps me get more clients, and so when I began doing my gofundme campaign, and I began to get a little momentum with the cash flow, I actually wanted my husbands help in selling my brand. He told me he tells other people about me all the time, but of course I don't know what he says. Maybe one day we should both go out with some of my campaign fliers and he can pass them out with me. It would be a great help to me, and I'd be interacting with him as he helps make an investment in my business with his time and mine together. He'd really make me smile a lot on that day. If you'd like to donate to my campaign scroll all the way down this page and there is a gofundme widget in the footer.

3. Accountability

One day I was so flustered with errands I actually kept putting off an order for a client and my husband made it his business to remind me of that client. "What happened to you making those earrings?" he said "How come you didn't tell me you needed to use the Marta card to go to Walmart and pick up the materials?" I looked at him with surprise-not only did this accountability make me burst into action and go get the materials I needed the very next day, it jolted me into the realization that this guy really cares about whether my business is picking up speed or not. He made sure I committed to my Word, and I can respect that. It also helps that he gave me a solution so I wouldn't have any excuses to make as to why I couldn't get the supplies.

4. Alleviate

In one of our family counseling sessions, the counselor told me that I can sometimes overdo the mom thing and neglect my husband or even myself. I couldn't help but agree, because when I under create I can become very grouchy and frustrated. My mind will suddenly become unfocused and burnt out. I'd love it if I could sit all day uninterrupted and create a lot of things so I can sell as many as possible to make money. That isn't always the case though. I usually have to complete orders and pull all nighters or full days in order to do what I do, even though I'm sorely needed in other places. It would help if my load was lightened some of the time. I can't expect this all the time from my husband though because he works nights; otherwise I believe I wouldn't even have to worry about it. He'd always help around the house instead of having his days occupied by sleep. You know how that graveyard shift makes you feel. It gets everything all out of wack, and lately I've been having to pace myself since I don't always have that extra set of hands. Making sure I have more time to do what I love would make me feel like I had a lot of support from him.

5. Assist

If you feel like Advocate and Assist are kind of the same things they probably are, but spreading the Word about me and bringing awareness to people about my business is different than helping me to actually achieve my goals. We can make a lot of promises, and say a lot of things, but do we always have the words to back up what we say? A while ago it was my husbands idea to throw a party where I sell my jewelry. It was supposed to be for my birthday, but we were unable to go through with it because of some other hardships we were facing. It was a great idea though! I would have loved for him to assist me in making it happen for real. He could make sure the guests have food, I could go get the decorations, maybe getting a table donated or something, we could both decorate and get the house prepared for the event. I mean we've held birthday parties before, why not a jewelry party? I would have loved to see what he came up with. My husband is a really cool guy! If I were prepared to do a jewelry party in the summer he probably would have used it as a reason to fire up the grill.