The Virtual Learning Curve

 DISCLAIMER: I really have no points or scriptures but merely a perspective on what is going on during this pandemic. If you want scripture to go off of I'd say "Train up a child in the way he should go even when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22: 6) Ultimately we mean in the way of the Lord, but making these little human beings into people who can stand on something solid at the end of the day is all we really desire, and we desire to do it regardless of stereotypes, race, creed, background…etc. I hope that my venting has helped nonetheless, and helped you to see this whole situation differently. I hope it awakens you to the needs of your children as a mother or father, and sends you to pray for strategy to follow. That's all the scripture and points I have to offer but onto this blog!

At the beginning of this pandemic, Parents and children alike were in a frenzy because of the lockdown. Personally my family had just moved into our home after a year of being homeless and going from place to place. I was pregnant and in my final terms at AIU completing my Bachelors Degree, so when the Pandemic forced all students to social distance me and my daughter were students together. It was a huge adjustment but for the most part the lessons were prerecorded and my daughter could work at her own pace of understanding, and her schedule was flexible with mine. I'm not using this as a means to brag because some parents were furloughed, and others were essential, and didn't have a means for childcare. My husband worked shortly before being furloughed himself.

What I'm here to discuss is this Virtual Learning curve. I'm calling it a curve because it has completely deviated most schools from the usual learning atmosphere and taught them the importance of proper learning and study methods being used by each child. While parents complain on my facebook timeline I look for parents who have students who are thriving in this atmosphere now that they are home and I've actually seen how it has become a benefit for some including my own daughter.

About a month before school first started Anya's school called me concerning the fact that she has epilepsy to further discuss her 504 plan. They wanted to make sure that she could fairly compete and that all the screen time wouldn't interfere with her learning. They suggested even releasing her 15 minutes earlier than all the other students. I told them it may or may not be necessary. Sometimes screen time could trigger a seizure depending on the length of time she's on there, and to let her take breaks if she complains about her head hurting or if they saw she was too confused and not comprehending the work. At the end of the day…they ended up treating ALL of the students as they would someone like Anya because all that screen time isn't healthy for anyone. I'm an adult with epilepsy and in my almost 30 years of life (Come March). I know that screen time can cause a lot of irregularity in moods..etc. As a person with Epilepsy the fact that this Pandemic has highlighted so many problems including the atmosphere's in school has opened my eyes and helped me to search for another option.

So I've been thinking, and calling around, and I've heard that APS is going to have a blended courses option in January. That basically means that students will go to the physical campus probably 2 days a week while doing other courses online. It sounds like my coursework at AIU, but it sounds like a great plan for me and my children. This way I can chase my own dreams and not be restricted to a work schedule that has me hustling and bustling to pick them up from school or even if I get an online job it won't hurt anything. 

Aside from the fact that Anya and Victor III have epilepsy. Detoxing this mindset that they're always under pressure to perform is one of my biggest goals concerning my kids. Even with the Virtual Learning as an option my daughter feels incredible amounts of stress because of how often they test her at her school. I spoke to one of her teachers and she told me that all the testing discourages not only the students about learning but the teachers from teaching as well. All this testing and pressure to perform is so the schools can have funding, but you know what? This pandemic proves that these kids need teachers to just teach. My daughter is in 2nd grade and phonetically she struggles reading sometimes. It's actually nothing outside of what's normal, but because of these tests and these speed lessons it makes her feel insecure. I work with her at home using materials my mom sends me since she teaches children to read, and another thing that I do is search out videos on YouTube to fill in the spaces where I can't quite explain. It really does help because at least at home, she knows she can take as long as she wants to study and home is a refuge outside of class. 

Not to mention Vic loves spending time with his baby sister.

Ever since last year my daughter has been discouraged about learning, and my son is too but he shows it in the way a 4 year old does. My son has a great imagination-probably more vivid than his big sister but it's still like his superpower, and it's how he learns. My daughters superpower is her creativity (like me). I love them both very much but I see how well they do at home with a small mixture of physical class time based on my own observations since this pandemic has happened. I see that they're at their best in a relaxed environment where no one is judging them for how quickly they comprehend things or putting pressure on them to do the work quickly.

Today as I was helping Anya with her virtual work, I handed my son a blank piece of paper, and told him how to write an A. He wrote his own A, and mind you he's left handed but I'm not. So while I'm teaching him I'm also asking him whether he feels comfortable writing the letters my way or another way. He is good at telling me when it feels unnatural but he freezes up when he's unsure of whether he can do something I ask. He sits there with a blank expression and I can tell that he's struggling to tell me "Mommy I don't know if I can do that?" He begins fumbling over his words and it's usually for a moment or two. I then told him to come to me, and I held him and took him to his dad. I told my husband "I'm telling him to write the A's and he's getting discouraged and I can tell because he's staring at me like I'm crazy!" Maybe I shouldn't have said it like that but if you saw his face, it wasn't only blank but it looked like "Why do you keep telling me to do that when you know I can't?" I left him in there for a few minutes with my husband and came back later and he was trying to reach for me while I was changing the baby. I asked him if he was ready to write his letters now and he said "Yes!" so that's what we did. He wrote an A and was so proud of himself, but do you see what I mean? He shut down on me before he even wanted to try, and I brought him to his dad knowing he would encourage him. It actually worked, whatever my husband said to him gave him the courage to at least try. 

Sometimes we make jewelry to get away from the computer.

 In the past my son Victor has been judged for this in daycare. They've said my son needed speech therapy, and that he was slower than children a year younger than him. I can also say though he felt pressure in that particular atmosphere because when I changed his school he immediately broke out of his shell! He rattled off letters, told me shapes, numbers, and everything. He had been listening the entire time and was being judged because no one took the time to tell him that it wasn't a Learning Race. 

Last year when Anya felt the pressure to work at everyones pace or someone was bullying her, she started to tell teachers she felt like she was having a seizure so that she could go home. We were homeless and although I understood her I was upset with her and I didn't give her actions as much thought as I am now. This entire time it was a real cry for help, and because I was so busy I didn't really take the time to consider what she really needed. Now that she's home, the teachers are saying there's no pressure and when she goes into a panic she hears me and them reassure her. A few weeks ago she said "I like to learn but when I go to school the kids are mean to me." I replied to her with "People weren't nice to Jesus either Anya, sometimes people just aren't nice." I'm afraid that what I said was taken as "get a grip" though. I'm so sad that it took a pandemic and a computer to help schools consider these needs for other students as well. To me that's like saying "Hey you're normal but we're going to drive you crazy!" Have you ever thought of why school lunch has to suck? Have you ever thought about why kids have to learn at a ridiculous rate? Better yet, have you thought about why more kids have learning disabilities and aren't performing well in school or show signs of depression and anxiety? My daughter is 7 and she says some things I never thought I'd hear concerning worry and class work. I can't blow her off saying "you don't have to pay bills I don't see what you are worried about." It wouldn't be fair, but I do remind her that her concern should only be to learn and grow. That skills grow over time and sometimes things take practice. I'm very honest with her even about the fact that adults don't even have it completely figured out. 

Taking a break from the commotion for the time.

It's not a learning race. I cannot stress that enough. People used to say I'd never be College Material, and here I am with a Certificate and 2 Degree's later, right? Honestly all the changes that have come about for these students since the pandemic and revealed how much of the education system has failed our children…it makes me kind of upset because I was told I was even using epilepsy as an excuse when I was growing up. The actual fact was that the learning atmosphere wasn't conducive to anyone's style of learning who may have to adapt differently. I had the seizure spikes to prove that and don't get me started on the quality of school lunch and how I ended up Hypoglycemic during High School. I heard that I was making an excuse so much that when I was at AIU pursuing my Bachelors Degree, it was very difficult for me to accept help and that I might actually need an Accommodation form. I just kept having this thought that I'm not slow, I can do it in spite of. Having that form didn't declare me handicap, it just readied my professors for if I had a seizure that made me inactive for a period of time, or even if a symptom from having a mood disorder seemed to hinder me. I could still turn in my work and possibly turn in my work later if I had to without too much of a penalty. 

Concerning Career, I had plans to be an Art Teacher for kids ages K-12 after I finished my Bachelors. I was going to get certified once I raised the money to take the test but I wasn't thinking of this career choice from being in the middle of a pandemic. The Pandemic created the virtual learning curve and has made an online option a possible. My plan is the same just virtual. So I still want to teach and possibly teach part-time. Another thing I was focused on is my business growing, and I was ready to continue doing virtual product parties. I am going to have to stay home to a degree if I have to be an entrepreneur and I'd love to because this is the type of career I've always wanted. In 11 year old Shakana's head "Work from home job, or career I really like that gives me time to be at home with my kids." Yeah…11 year old Shakana is somewhere in my subconscious laughing her head off at me now, because I really thought I'd escaped her. Nope. In a way I guess this is a dream come true. I have time to be myself and make sure my children have everything they need. I can work my dream around their schedule. I can set aside a specific time each day to work in my business, and take care of them at home, and when they transition in January to blended courses I'll be able to use the days they have to go to class to continue my work and focus heavily on it. I believe that I can do it and that I won't feel overwhelmed at all. I think I'm self aware enough about what my needs are as an individual and how I may or may not be effected by my kids learning needs. I do make time to consider my dreams as well and to balance their needs along with them. It really helps.

My little Sweet Tart is the most nurturing pretend mommy ever!

All this to say everyone is different. My children are doing fine, and they seem more content than I've ever seen them while they were in a physical learning environment every day. I do want them to have both environments because honestly sheltering them too much won't give them the room they need to grow either. However, I'm a strong believer in a person being strengthened from the inside so that when the world isn't perfect enough you can be strong enough to face it, and I'm not trying to raise children who can't Stand in times of trouble. I may have to make some adjustments but it can be done! Right before I send them to daycare when they go or get started with virtual learning we do bible study on the Kids Bible App, and I now have more time to discuss life skills I've wanted to teach them for the longest while we were homeless and coping. 

God bless you all I hope that you all consider your situations and truly take your children and your needs seriously. You may not be a person who feels you can do what I do, and that's okay. This isn't for everyone to be doing because it's fitting to my unique need. I just wanted to give my perspective on the Virtual Learning Curve since it's the talk of my timeline.