Take Mommy to School Day

I went to my daughters school before thanksgiving weekend, and participated in Take Mommy to School Day. About 100 moms came to support their kids. They served us breakfast, they let us engage with the children in the class, and they also let us take our little ones home early. I had a blast and even though that was a lot of fun, there was something that happened prior to the event that I had to talk about.

Earlier in the week Mr. Moore and Ms. Brenda told me that if I'm coming to "volunteer" for Take Mommy to school day I had to first sign a volunteer sheet and I also couldn't bring my 18 month old son. I heard them, I was upset at first but all I did is march right downstairs and speak to the director DIRECTLY. I told her I had a problem with the policy for this one day because I don't have a babysitter for my son-that doggone it I am the freaking babysitter! I really wanted to support my daughter though on this day and it was important to me. How would it look if my husband participated in Daddy Daycare when they had it, and I wasn't there for Take Mommy to school day? Long story short I am sort of competitive when it comes to things like this and I wasn't about to be outdone. The director at my daughters school had actually gave me her approval just for that day, but when I got her approval I was under the impression other moms made the same type of complaint as I did and got the same approval. BOY WAS I WRONG!

So I arrive there the day of and I see a mom outside with two of her children crying. I noticed her from dropping off her son in my daughters class at the YMCA, but I thought nothing of this until another parent from my daughters class told me about why she was out there feeling so sad. It turned out that she was actually told that she couldn't bring her two kids because of the policy as well, but on today it really crushed her because she had nowhere to go for 3 hours. She was locked out of the house she lives in because of some misunderstandings she had with her family and now she really needed help. I didn't know I would burst into action the way that I did, but I dropped off my daughter for breakfast, and then I ran downstairs to get my morning coffee. In passing I saw the school director, and I ran after her while she was trying to set up breakfast for the moms. I let her know about the lady who was outside upset because she couldn't participate and I brought to her attention that I was a parent she gave a pass for their child. She told me to find her if I can and that she can participate this one time. When I went outside she was no longer there, and so I went back in to see if she had come back in. She did and I met her just as she was about to leave the class for good that day. I told her "I just spoke to someone for you, and they said you can stay." That mom gave me the BIGGEST HUG EVER, and cried and thanked me. It took me off guard at first but I understood. I told her I had spoken to the director a long time ago concerning my son, and she made an exception for this one day for me. I will go to war for another mom if I have to and I did.

After the whole matter cleared up the Director explained to the lady how it is a liability to the business for other children who don't go to the school to be there. I completely understood that, but I thought for this one day they'd make an exception. I would have been cool signing a waiver because my children are my responsibility anyway. I love the Andrew and Walter Young YMCA and I'd never say anything bad about them because they've shown my daughter so much love. They've been very kind, (even to my son) and they've understood times when I ended up in the hospital with him and as a result couldn't bring Anya to school.  They usually show a lot of understanding when it comes to how your life may not line up in certain places all the time, and as long as you let them know something they aren't so hard of understanding. That's why I felt so comfortable sticking up for a fellow mom on that day.

Later on we went to breakfast and the Director got up and said "I'm now realizing the importance of the role of a mom. They usually are the primary caregivers in the situation..." She also told her own testimony about how she started out very early having a child and being married. I think seeing that mom today jogged her memory about her own trials. Sometimes you've come so far from the trouble that you forget to relate to someone who is going through those exact things you did at one time. There was a time where you needed understanding and not very many people came to your rescue. What good is it to have an experience like this if you can't help others once you come away from it in an uplifting manner?

Some other things happened at breakfast...We had a DAD speaker???-I have no comment for what he was saying, however I do have one about his facial expression. He really just passed the mic and looked sort of lost in a sea of 100 women. I felt bad for the guy, because he looked like he was nervous about what to say, and every time he was asked a question his answer was rather vague as if he feared offending us. I'm glad that he gave the women who were willing to talk the mic (the poor thing), cause he was at a complete loss. He had excellent speech skills so his confidence in that wasn't the issue,  but it was the sea women staring at him.

I feel as if no one tries to understand moms unless they are one. It's unfortunate that the role of the mom is the most underrated "job" of all jobs. Personally I'm a babysitter, a teacher, a doctor when my kids are sick, I'm an advocate when they can't stand up for themselves...etc. All day and every day I weigh the cost of putting my son in childcare or just keeping him home. I've sacrificed a ton of things because I'd rather come home to my kids than drop them off somewhere else or have someone pick them up from school because I have to work. Even with my husbands schedule, he leaves out at about 10am and doesn't come home until after 8pm sometimes because of the commute on public transportation, but I'm thinking that even with a car, he wouldn't be able to get off as early as 2:30 to come get our kids from school at dismissal. This leaves me as the only option sometimes, and I have to band together with other women just so I can go to a doctors appointment without worrying about who's going to get my daughter from

Take Mommy to School Day was interesting. I didn't realize that I would help someone, but I woke up feeling so strange like something weird would happen. I didn't know I'd end up intervening for someone. I will say that the strangest thing overall was the anticipation that women would not come with their other children,  or that they would make up some reason not to be present? My husband explained that the YMCA has a higher percentage of dads who come to get their children than mom's, and that's why they approached our situation in the manner they did. They even went as far as having the speaker for the dads (same speaker as ours) talk about having rights too see their kids (which doesn't apply to my husband). I guess the YMCA felt the need to protect the dads. I am all for that but Early Head Start and Head Start is a family program. If you do the research you'll see they are supposed to help families improve as a whole. So regardless of whether dad is picking up the child or mom the focus is to improve the family so the child can have a quality life. A family is still a family, and mom is still a part of that family as well as her other children. I commend the men at the YMCA who are  as heavily involved in their children's lives as the mom is but this one day was for mom, and we outnumbered the men by many. Some mom's showed up in their uniforms for work (as my husband did for Daddy Daycare)and left after only a few hours of time in the class. They all came to support their kids though (All of them if they had more than one).

I love the Andrew and Walter Young YMCA. My daughter's teachers make the learning experience fun and creative for her and the rest of the students. This is her second year returning there, and I wouldn't have it any other way. However I can't exactly say that what I saw that day solidified my feelings about this being a rewarding experience for my entire family.   I mean it has its rewards but I guess business is business and sometimes the concept of business can interfere with the intention of a good program. Business says "certain things are a liability to us,"  but the program says "We want to help everybody get better as a whole." At some point those two things will clash just like they have, and that's why we were almost In jeapordy of being disqualified to participate in a program that was for us moms. Hopefully they have truly learned from their mistakes and they'll make better moves next time. I'm sure they will.