Disabilities and the Family Career Woman

When I was growing up my mother taught me to never let anything hinder me from learning, growing, and accomplishing my goals. My mother was also an educator so I was always expected to perform well in my classes in spite of having a seizure disorder. It was often said to my teachers "Keep a close eye on her but don't give her any special treatment, and don't treat her like she's slower than any other kid." Although I am so glad that my mother taught me to never allow a disability to hinder me I often wish that she had taught me my limitations a little more, because now I am either stubborn about sitting down and getting the care I need; or I am just now learning them.
When it comes to my kids I sort of live by the same philosophy, but with more knowledge I'm able to teach my children simple things that will help them to live and cope in addition to not allowing anything to hinder them. Both my son and daughter have epilepsy like me, and although that is unfortunate for us, the fact that I'm able to relate to them personally makes hospital visits easier. No wool can be pulled over my eyes by anyone. In fact sometimes the doctors learn a thing or two about me that may help them with my son or my daughter.
Anyway I was sitting here thinking of the effects of having a disability and having children with them, and as a mom people sympathize with you, but as a woman they seem to criticize you for not having anything together. They think that the reason I won't pick up a job is simply because I don't want to. Don't get me wrong I believe in using a job as a bridge it's just timing that needs to get right first. In my world I'm not just a woman who needs a job, but I'm a wife, a mother, and an entrepreneur. Sometimes I have to be an advocate for my family because people really don't understand at all what I have to face.
Last week my son was admitted to Egleston Hospital for Observation and now he's back but in the PICU and they're running a 24 hour EEG on him. I'm skeptical as to when they will release him. All I know is that when I was on the 5th floor for observation they gave him tons of meds and no matter what he was still seizing. This is why they transferred him to the ICU.

When I went to the break room I ran into a lady there that said she was from room 4113. She said she loved this hospital and that they are always giving away things. She asked me if I had gotten my bag yet and I kindly asked her "What bag?" And she proceeded to go get a bag from behind the desk in the break room. This bag had toothpaste, some shampoo, a notebook, a pen, and a few other items, but in the bag it had a note. The note had a scripture on it Psalm 46:1. That reads as follows: "God is our refuge and strength, and ever present help in trouble." The note said a few other things and you can read it below...

Anyway though, the Holy Spirit kept telling me to contact this lady. So I looked for her on facebook like the note said to. I wanted to learn more about who Scarlett was and so I expected to see a little information about that. I didn't but I saw a photo of one of her bags and I let her know how much of a blessing it was for someone to do what she does. She drops off these bags as donations to the parents of children in the PICU, and that's wonderful. It helps me feel as if someone understands. Hey as a mom, it's hard to get a job and focus on a family that has so many disabilities. If anything happens to my children I'm the one that has to be there. My husband has started his job after several months of chasing his company down about putting him on a security site, and we can finally thank God for the provision he's about to give to us, and his deliverance from debt. 

Let me tell you though what made this bag special though. The Holy Spirit lead me to get in contact with this lady with specific instructions to say THANK YOU for what she does and to keep it up. I didn't know why I felt this urge suddenly but I couldn't stop myself. I had a connection problem on my laptop out of nowhere and I got on my phone and found Scarlett's Closet on Facebook. The lady who began Scarlett's Closet is a lady named Lisa Fountain and she's the grandmother of Scarlett. Scarlett was a 21 month old baby who was admitted to the PICU in 2011 and she died from a rare case of Cancer while she was here. Ms. Lisa then felt lead to make bags full of things for the parents in the PICU because she said she came from out of state and when her grandchild was admitted here in Atlanta that they had nothing. 

When I began thanking her, she actually said I was the first person who responded and said that I'd gotten a bag! She said she prays over each bag and that it felt good meeting a person she had prayed for. Well...this person felt that prayer, and I felt lead to get back to her, and here is what else I found out. TODAY is Scarlett's birthday, and she would've been about 7 years old if I'm not mistaken. Today was a hard day for Ms Lisa to get through, and I completely understood. Then if that wasn't enough of a coincidence-check this out! Scarlett died on May 13, 2011! When I saw May I had overlooked it too quickly but then I went back to her comment, and I realized what that day was! May 13 is my sons birthday! She was saying that I was about to make her cry but I almost cried. In that moment I saw how significant it was for me to reach out to her!!! I saw why there was an urge, and why I had to obey the Holy Spirit. Ms. Lisa needed to hear from me. She needed to know that I appreciated her, and that I saw what she was doing and supported it. She is a blessed lady and Scarlett's Closet is just one of those ministries that is doing so well because of the donations of many! I'm just sitting here and my mind is blown. All I did was obey the Holy Spirit, I wasn't trying to be deep or anything, but the situation got deep on me. The more I think of it Ms. Lisa was right. I was supposed to get in contact with her so we could both know the very thing that was stated in Psalm 46:1 That God is our REFUGE, our STRENGTH, and an EVER PRESENT HELP in trouble. Ms. Lisa was grieving the death of her granddaughter today, (may she rest in peace) and here I am watching my son endure the same things I did as a kid, and going through a 24 hour EEG in the PICU. My heart is overwhelmed but now with a new feeling rather than stress and worry. Now I just feel AMAZED! Everything lined up for a reason-even the scripture that was in the bag. 

Have I really considered God to be my REFUGE in this? My STRENGTH? I can't say I've thought he was an ever present help- I mean I knew he could help but I've been losing faith a lot because of what is happening to my son! This is why I believe working from home is my only option, because if I had a job in this season, I'd be taking off anyway. I'm too discouraged to try. With my own personal business I know I can be my own boss. If I want to fire myself that would be something between me and myself! Ha! No bosses calling me telling me that I've taken off too many days or that I've abandoned my responsibilities at work and have to be let go. So I thank God for Ms. Lisa who was and has been a blessing to many. 

I'd like to end this blog with a prayer for Ms. Lisa, and myself...I've never done that before, but I'm just following the Holy Spirit again. So if you're new here please know that I will be myself on here. 

Dearest Heavenly Father,

I just come to you giving you ALL the praise and ALL the Honor! Lord you deserve it more than ever! Lord I thank you for honestly being our refuge, strength and being ever present in me and the baby's situation as well as Ms. Lisa's. Lord bless her on Scarlett's birthday every year, so that each one get better and filled with more joy simply from the honor that is being brought to the ministry that is called Scarlett's Closet. Lord help my son because you said you are a HEALER. This is your child and I am only the vessel you called to care for him. I dedicate him completely to you in this situation because there is nothing that I can do that you couldn't do better than me. Lord give the doctors wisdom, guide their thinking and their decision making. Let your Holy Spirit overtake this entire room here at Egleston in room 4124! Bless us Lord God. Bless us in our finances and in our health so that we may prosper and do your will. Lord help Ms. Lisa continue to do what she does and even expand her ministry to touch more lives. Let her minister to those who are grieving as well as going through here at the hospital. Strengthen her and lift her up but more importantly you be exalted in her deeds!

Lord concerning my position-define it! I would really like for my business to work out for me. It would make it a lot easier for me personally to take care of my family and I work from home. Thank you that my husband has a job that is soon to provide for us after so many months of going without. Now I ask that you increase me so that I can be the woman that you called me to be. Let me get the funding for my business Kana Wear LLC and raise my children and be there for them as much as possible. 

Thank you for seeing fit to let me see about Ms. Lisa on such a day, and for it to have such special meaning to her. Thank you that her gift was meaningful enough for me to see about her. Lord you knew what was needed which is proof that the scripture was not just for me but for Ms. Lisa. To remind us that you are our refuge, our strength and that you are ever present! Thank you for being with us today and continue to be with us as we carry out your will for our lives in Jesus Name I Pray Amen!

If you would like to support Scarlett's Closet go find her on facebook @Scarlettscloset09 or if you would like to read about her story go to www.scarlettlillies.blog.com or www.scarlettscloset.org. I love that this grandma turned something hurtful into something that made her better and not bitter! That's what I'm trying to do now by doing my campaign for Kana Wear LLC. I can sit here and be all bent out of shape about the fact that my family is always sick and I have no room to make moves on my own concerning a Job or anything, but I believe this is why God has called me to be an entrepreneur. He knew that I would be in this situation and have to do it, just like he knew Ms Lisa, and how her passing out bags would minister to parents in the PICU. Your destiny is inescapable and I believe that you can not run from it no matter what the circumstances are (whether they turn out good or badly).

If you would like to support me in my endeavor to become my own boss please donate to the Kana Wear LLC Start Up Fund. I had to tell my readers how it isn't easy for me to really get my feet on the ground, but not just because I just don't want to try, but because of what is going on in the present. I could get a job but it would only be a matter of time before me or another one of my family members ends up sick. Like I said I am choosing to be better in this. To continue in my endeavors to be who I am called to be in spite of ailments that hit my body and my family's. I choose what God called me to do over the suggestions of others so it really doesn't matter what other people think of my desperation to work from home. I'm not simply baby sitting. This is my son you're talking about. He needs care, especially now, and it's very difficult to find and keep a job when something is constantly happening in the area of your health. Every time the thought even crosses my mind one of the kids ends up sick or I do. Doing this will help me to be a better instead of bitter that I can't do anything except sit around while the doctors speculate over what is happening to my children. At least I know I'll be storing something up for their futures and giving them something to inherit. I want to leave a legacy for my children, not liabilities. This is how I want to make that possible. So please if you can support my campaign I'd greatly appreciate it. All I ask for you to give is $1 nothing more, but if you feel like you'd like to give more THANK YOU in advance for your donation. And if you'd like you can send a selfie to my Kana Wear LLC inbox either on facebook or my direct email kanawear91@gmail.com. I will be creating an album on my facebook page of all the donors who supported my campaign so that I can remember them forever. So thank you once again for reading, and I hope that you learned from tonights post the lesson that I learned. There is always a blessing in simply obeying God's voice.