4 Keys to Persevereance
This term and year has been by far the most complicated, enjoyable, frustrating, and fulfilling that I've ever had. I must admit that 2019 was not that great considering that me and my family were homeless from January 2019 to February 2020. Various things happened and there were multiple times I wanted to give up, but I stayed focused by God's grace and mercy.
I'm so happy to report that I've completed my final term at American Intercontinental University and I'm going to be participating in the ceremony next year because it was postponed due to the Coronavirus Pandemic.
If you don't know the story I'd like to briefly sum it up from where I started. I received a call from Mr. Quentin Young in 2018 several days before being evicted from my apartment alongside my husband and children. He called me on my house phone and I don't usually answer because of the spam calls but for some reason today was different. I let him know about the situation, and I let him know my family were going through the eviction process and I was packing my bags. I let him know how concerned I was about going to school when I should be looking for a job. I had a desire to go back because I had started my Bachelors Degree but never completed it. I had already attained my associate degree and my certificate in project management. It was him who suggested I enroll at school and then the Federal Work Study Program getting paid $12/hr. Long story short I enrolled and 103 credits from Bauder College transferred, so I came in a junior and graduation was set for 2020. I picked up a job as a Daycare Teacher shortly after my enrollment and it became too much for my health. I was forced to quit because I was always outnumbered 1/25+ not to mention all the kids were different age groups from 6-12 yrs, but I was desperate under the circumstances as we had just been evicted from our homes. I was able to participate in the Federal Work Study Program that July and that was the most fun experience I had at a job in my life. And unfortunately Mr. Quentin Young my admissions rep who called me and was so kind can not be there to hear I graduated because of his passing earlier this year.
Although things became a bit more easy with the job, it also became more interesting and complicated. We went from a hotel, to a shelter, to renting out a room in someones house, to a friends house and eventually that February 2020 into our own home. A month later we were on lock-down due to the pandemic, and I was a stay at home teacher, as well as a student myself. I also had a baby during my final term, and In spite of all this I persevered. I wanted to talk about what kept me through that time because when you're in a situation like mine it's really difficult to keep the faith and stay interested in your life pursuits.
The bible says in James 1:12 “blessed is the man who perseveres under trial because when he has STOOD the test he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who LOVE him.” I know personally that it was nothing but God who has kept me this entire time. It was in May 2019 after a situation with family that made me ask God to help me in such a way that I knew it was him. I prayed God show me who he truly is in my life, and who I am outside of the opinion of others because all too often I had allowed others to define that for me and tell me belittling things to where I actually began to believe them. The things these people were saying was stealing away my faith in God and myself and I was tired of it because it wasn't producing anything but depression, lack of motivation, and even my creativity was beginning to leave me. I was already going to therapy and when I shared these things with my therapist she also told me staying around the company of these people were fueling the false beliefs that I had about myself. She recommended I take a step back for my own mental health because she saw a dip in my motivation for school, and my self-talk was becoming very negative. So while I felt abandoned and ridiculed by family (over what seemed to be nothing at all) I knew there was a possibility they'd be moved out of the way because if God was going to do it then he was going to get the glory alone! Some people have a way of trying to do things for you with the intent of getting the credit all the time, and that can't exist when you are trying to serve God. I knew if I got help from the wrong people they may even throw it in my face later which was something I wanted with all my heart to avoid. It was when I was sitting on my front porch having a moment to myself that I had to thank God because he had done it! It was all over and done with, and I was sitting on my front porch thanking God that he was the author and finisher of my faith and that no man could take credit for that in any way. It was last year that I learned that no one could love you through and carry you through circumstances like the Lord can. He doesn't throw anything in your face, he won't belittle you, and he won't criticize you. He might tell you that you can use a few improvements but only in a fatherly manner, and that was the exact kind of love I needed shown to me during that time. In a sense I've earned my crown of life here on Earth for learning to love him and myself more.
As I was Persevering Under Trial I learned a few things and I'm sharing in this blog post only as a means of ministry and empowerment for women who are constantly on the front line for their futures with very little support from family or friends. As a Family career woman we already have a lot to balance when it comes to our families and our own careers. I know it sounds cliche but sometimes you can't get the support of family and friends because you never gave Jesus a shot to prove who he is to you. As I give these pointers that I've learned over time I encourage all of you to not only take heed but to ask yourself this question. Have I really given God a chance to prove himself to me and show me who I am?
4 Tips to Persevere
1. Understand Your Weapons
My favorite story in the Bible is the one of David and Goliath. One night I was reading this to my kids and for some reason that night this one verse stood out to me and it’s in 1 Samuel 17:39 and it says “And David girded his sword upon his armor and he assayed to go; for he had not proved it. And David said unto Saul I cannot go with these for I have not proved them. And David put them off.” In essence this 12 year old boy told an experienced man of war “hey man I never used these before and tested them out for myself so I’m not gonna try and front like I understand how to use these things at all. I’m sticking to what I know...my sling shot.”
Have you ever had someone who you thought was more learned than you, give you advice and when you concluded that it wouldn’t work for you, they got angry with you for opting out? I’ve had several people I’ve looked up to disappoint me by trying to discourage me from making life choices that fit my needs. It’s one thing when they don’t respect your decision, but when they know that taking their advice would weigh you down, or that their conditions won't work for you but still impress them upon you it's very discouraging. Especially if they're much older than you. We assume they know more and honestly we'd like to respect and trust our elders, but this has proven to be otherwise in my own life more than not. It also gives a false sense of protection as Saul’s armor was for David.
In life it is important to understand your weapons and stick to what works for you. It’s important to discern when it is appropriate to take certain advice or the burden of listening to everyone’s opinion will overwhelm you. One of my biggest obstacles in my early 20’s was listening to everyone’s advice for my life. Feeling abandoned made me feel really insecure and one day when at the altar at church for prayer my Pastor said “You have been listening to the wrong voice.” He went on during Bible Study to say that first voice is usually your own discernment that is lead by the Holy Spirit telling you what you should do, and that second voice is the enemy and it's filled with tons of doubt. I had grown accustomed to listening to the second voice. I repeatedly told myself, "These people are older so they know better than me" even if I felt lead by God I was allowing others to tell me what they think he meant for me. Unfortunately I had to hit a few brick walls before seeing this wasn’t always true. So, what voice are you listening to? See David had mastered something adults young and old have not quite mastered, and that’s the art of knowing the weapons of your warfare. You can explore them, you could even grow skills in them to a grand level of expertise; but let someone who’s more learned than you come around, that's when you suddenly start feeling insecure and second guess yourself.
David didn’t have a single clue how to use armor, but he had a sling shot, and he used that to defeat a huge giant. He didn’t let what he didn’t know about warfare intimidate him; he let what he had get him the result he desired. To slay the giant he had to put off the advice of someone who was older and more experienced than he was. David had to look at himself and take stock of his skills and strengths in order to conclude that it's okay to use what's tried and true. He also might've realized after putting on an over sized armor that taking up a method used by someone else instead of what he knew would hurt him long term. Can you imagine what would’ve happened to him had he not refused the armor? The weight of the armor would’ve made him an easy target for Goliath. That armor was fit for Saul, not for David! All too often we take on methods fit for others thinking they'll work for us instead of discerning what advice is suitable for us. We can’t keep making ourselves easy targets by putting off what we know and understand to be valuable to us. Somewhere we have to diligently follow the voice of God and let him lead us to the results we desire. Sometimes that may mean disagreeing with someone else and facing whatever comes with that.
2. Know Your Authority
8 The centurion answered and said, Lord, I am not worthy that thou shouldest come under my roof: but speak the word only, and my servant shall be healed. 9 For I am a man under authority, having soldiers under me: and I say to this man, Go, and he goeth; and to another, Come, and he cometh; and to my servant, Do this, and he doeth it."(Matt 8:8-9)
This centurion knew he wasn't worthy of Jesus to come under his roof, but he knew how to acknowledge power when he saw it because he himself had power. He told Jesus that all he wanted him to do was send the word and he knew his servant would be healed.
We have authority as Kings and Priests through Jesus Christ. I was at the hotel when a curious dream I had about a liturgical dancewear outfit made me wonder what my authority was and how much of it I had. It lead me to research certain authority types used in Liturgical Dance. Liturgical Dance and Purposeful pageantry dance attires are broken up into two categories which are, Kingly and Priestly Garments. The authority of a King is just as Profound as a Priest. Kings have more to do with the law, from creating the law to enforcing it. While Priests have more to do with atonement and judgement. So when these attires are worn in liturgical dance it's to give the specific dancer that level of authority when ministering. In this particular dream I was asking what type of garment I was being told to put on and the strange thing is I was left to guess what it was and I believe now that it was Kingly because of it's make up and color, as well as how the dream ended. The dream ended with me wearing the outfit and walking into these double doors into a banquet style event. I walked in knowing I was about to minister a powerful dance.
I come from a long line of preachers on both sides so I know I have Jesus in me as well as ministry, but I was walking into a new level of discovery when it came to being in the jurisdiction of Kingly authority. This meant exactly what I thought it would mean. I had the power to speak over my own life and that negative self-talk wasn't working. My beliefs weren't lining up with who God said I was and that had to change. In essence my language wasn't that of a person who had any authority and from that point on I made it a thing to speak differently about who I was and who I believed God was to me. All that negative stuff people said about me that I used to believe got cast down, and I not only turned away from believing the false things people said about me, but I chose a different course of action that proved I wasn't going to believe the lies anymore. Kings make laws, enforce them, and create consequences for those who don't follow it. This is in essence the principle of casting down strongholds, decreeing and declaring, or binding and loosing. I cast down the evil imagination I had, I decreed and declared and loosed what I wanted to see over my life and I enforced it by walking in those things. To persevere, knowing your authority is very essential, and knowing who else has authority is too.
I was letting the negative things people say and do come to pass in my life by not knowing my power. I've had people say the most evil things to me like "you don't have favor from God, and if you do it comes from my favor." or "you're going to always struggle". As a woman of faith I will say I did call nonsense when I heard it, but I also must admit how I put my guard down because I thought I could trust some of these people. I also thought that because I knew these things weren't true that I didn't have to fight against them or guard myself from the thoughts they could create. I was challenged in this way when I called one of my Pastors and told her what was said. As I sat there and whined like a helpless victim she asked me in disbelief "And you believed this?" It was a jolt for my 24yr old self at that time, but after learning my authority over the years, it made me wonder the same thing. Why was I believing this nonsense if I knew it wasn't true? My answer was that I didn't know my authority and neither did I know how to use the weapons associated with it. Had I recognized my power at that time I would've began to realize the people who was saying those things had no authority to make those things happen in my life because they weren't God. I also would've noticed I was dealing with people who operated in a spirit of witchcraft too, but that's a different conversation for a completely different blog post.
3. Stay Consistent
Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord. (1 Cor 15:58)
One thing I know is for sure is the fact that consistency has brought me more results than starting and stopping in the middle of something. I've worked when I thought it was pointless to work. I actually learned to stay consistent when times were tough from my grandfather one day while he was gardening in the dead of winter. At the time I had to be about 9yrs old and my grandfather was outside in the snow planting these seeds for vegetables. I remember opening the screen door to the backyard saying "Granddaddy what you doing? Those seeds aint gonna grow! It's cold out". In my mind it's cold and this is NY? So that shows you how much I knew about gardening at that age. "Yeah it will!" my grandfather yelled back to me. "Watch these gonna grow taller than you by the Summer." And you know what...they did.
Once I graduated with my Associate Degree in Fashion Design and my Certificate In Project Management, I may not have gotten my dream job but I stayed at it, and was finding new ways to reinvent and create. I remained curious enough to keep going. Staying at it to me means you should keep being curious, asking questions and driving results. Keep doing the research for the experiment, keep looking up ways to better your craft whatever that may be. Don’t let hardships define the moves you make. Take Alternate routes and know the destination will remain the same. Even the most experienced and educated person from time to time must get something called CEU’s which are Continuing Education Units. They are small courses that you take sometimes for a fee, or for free through a company to say “I not only have education and experience but I brush up on the latest information in my industry and I do things to keep my mind stimulated and my skills sharp. So stay at it. No matter what life throws at you, stay at it! If you don’t have enough money for one method create a new method and stay at it. People say “Never give up” but I say to Stay at it. How can you make a beautiful sculpture unless you chiseled away at a stone? The stone is hard, probably hard to move, but if you shape it maybe you can do something with that instead. How do you eat an elephant as people sometimes say? You gotta eat it one bite at a time, so in order to do that you must Stay at it! Besides, we don't want our hard labour to go in vain.
The thing I learned from my grandfather is the principle of the thing. If a man puts seed in ground that seed has to grow no matter what. As you can see my grandfather didn't wait for a perfect summer to plant those seeds. He planted in the winter so he could harvest during the summer. Either way he was going to get some crops. I'm sure all the moisture was locked down in the ground during the winter months and began to thaw out and bring that seed moisture in the Spring, as well as start budding, so by the time the summer came those crops were full grown. Sometime you have to keep going with the understanding that the results are going to come even when you can't see them or when it doesn't seem to make any sense. So I'm grateful I got to learn that lesson from him before his passing in April 2019.
4. Don’t Lose Your Edge
As a designer we have specific scissors to cut paper and to cut fabric. One day my husband tried to cut a piece of paper with my fabric scissors and I nearly took off his head! Do you know why? Cutting with my fabric scissors would've dulled down my scissors and made it hard to cut my fabrics. While I was cutting out my fabrics it would've made the edges all jagged and frustrating for me to sew. The only way I would've been able to fix this problem without having to buy a whole different pair of scissors would've been to go get them professionally sharpened. It's not even recommended you do it yourself unless you are a professional, because you might do it wrong and end up hurting yourself in the process. In other words it would've come with a price to fix AND I would've needed a different person's perspective or expertise to restore them back to normal. Iron literally does sharpen iron, and it has a huge purpose in doing so.
In Proverbs 27:17 the word countenance has several meanings from "face", to "against anger," but the one that stood out the most was "edge". Can you imagine that? A friend can sharpen your edge! Who would've thought that in this particular scripture countenance would've meant "edge". When I read this I automatically thought about keeping your edge, but I couldn't really say how many of my friends are truly there to make sure I'm sharp? I'm usually that person for others but it's not always returned, and this is when I realized I needed to get new friends. I was more purposeful in picking my friends separating those I'm supposed to help, from those I take encouragement from and keep me sharp. I also got rid of people who dulled down my edge as well. That and being responsible for my own destructive thinking that is influenced by them has made such a huge difference in my life. Some people were not happy that I took the measures I did to remove those who dulled down my edge on a constant basis, but I have peace now because of it.
So what is your edge? In my case my edge is my ability to get up every morning and want to keep going because I'm ambitious, driven, creative, and faith filled. If I look at myself as a pair of fabric scissors my friends should always keep me sharp by helping me to cut neatly to create a fabulous garment called "life". My friends should keep me motivated by encouraging me in the Word of God, and hold me accountable concerning my goals and even my own behavior. This is where having a different perspective works. Sometimes we may not always see which ways we need to be sharpened, and just like having a professional sharpen your scissors you need a friend to do the same telling you where you may need to improve, or possibly what you're doing right and to stay on track with. Good friends can discern when to be gentle and yet firm with you when you need to hear something truthful. Their intentions are only to help you, and there is no harm meant in what they say or do, and there's definitely not any arterial motives. A real friend throws away selfish ambitions and puts aside their own will for their friend so they can become better as Christ did in his sacrifice on the cross. That's what it means to have a friend who sharpens your edge. Now, whether your friends do the same for you or not is something you must sort through on your own just like I did.
In conclusion, things are coming up. I'm finished with all my work and I'm excited because now I have tons of time to truly get settled into my new home as well as clean up and dream about my next moves concerning my business. I already have been very busy making cool designs with jewelry making, and it's been fun. I can't wait to clean up with loud music BLASTING! I haven't done that in so long because of being so busy.
Until next time I hope you all remain blessed, focused and keep persevering in the Lord throughout the hard times. Remember Sis, it is possible to get it done!
UPDATE 11/7/2020
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