The Proof They Need to See

You ever met someone who was dead set on proving people wrong? Let me tell you something about those people... those types of people are always bitter trying to tell people how they don't need them,  how they can do things on their own without help. How they're going to be somebody and prove to everybody who had something to say that they are somebody. The sad thing is they'll be in a life or death situation and never ask a soul for help because of the trauma they experienced over the years.  For some reason a counterfeit voice and not the voice of God is more listened to than one of reason. The Bible says "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and a fool despises instruction."

Isn't it funny how the enemy-OUR enemy the devil is into clouding our judgment so badly that the things that are toxic to our souls is acceptable but not something good like good advice, or productivity? People who genuinely mean well are shunned, rejected, abused...etc. While the true abusers  slick their way into everybody's lives, right?

Take a minute and think about it. If the devil were a Marvel character, he'd be The Reverse Flash. The Flash was nothing but a replica in the opposite. There was a Speed force where The Flash was in and of it, then the negative speed force was introduced and The Reverse Flash was in and of it. Barry Allen's life was filled with Love and hope and it fueled his heroism,  but The Reverse Flash thrived on Hate, and despair,  and that's what fueled him as a villain. 

I've always been captivated by superheroes because I find them to be an exasperated version of life's true issues. There are real protagonists and antagonists. Real people who bring life as Jesus would and real people who are straight up thieves like an enemy! (John10:10)- But let's talk about those people I mentioned at the very beginning of the blog,  you know the ones who are bent on proving everyone wrong, but always end up in a rut themselves? Well... I'm people. 

When God Won't Bless Your Mess...

After a time where we've experienced the most trauma we can either come out of it broken before God, or wounded. When you are wounded pride will slip in and make you think you don't need anyone. When you are broken by God you take the lessons, God's Love and gratitude with you to a season of fruitfulness and change. 

Now there may have been a time where you asked someone for help as a hand up and people think you're asking for a hand out. (I'm quoting my husband there🥰) Well after a while you get discouraged and when you're wounded you literally become hell bent on proving yourself to all the nay sayers. 

Let me tell you something you might not want to hear. God doesn't bless pride in any form that it may come. This ain't about you, this ain't about those people that judged you. It's clearly about God and his will for your life. 

So why are we even bringing them up at a time where it's critical that you get back to God's work? What is there to prove to them anyway? Half those jokers who judge and criticize are stuck on looks anyway, and aren't about authentic change! I'm gonna quote myself as a teenager. Now I have to warn you I was saved but not always nice. 🤣 Anyway, I was in a place where I wondered why I should put so much energy into wanting to prove something to bullies who act like they don't even like me. It makes me wonder what happened and when I became so passive later on in my adulthood. 

Back in High School I was in a situation where I was being bullied and the class ended up having a discussion. When it got around to qualms they had with me, their issue was that I wasn't trying hard enough to be like them in their opinion (yeah...😒). I responded by saying, "Why would I want to be like yall? I don't even like yall!" !🤣🤣🤣  Don't judge me!🤣 I was a teenager, and I didn't realize how fly at the mouth I was at that time!🤦🏾‍♀️😣 I actually may have been as dead wrong and dead right as Peter slicing the ear off of Roman soldier, but I had a right to defend what I believed. I remember thinking myself don't they have some nerve. 

If you think about it this is what devils do. They tempt you and entice you so they can later accuse you. "Come join us and be with us, we'll accept you for who you are" they say, and then later on after they finally get a hold of you "see I knew you was no better, look at you! You're pathetic!" So on all levels I felt offended in spirit and I became defensive. 

What was I defending??? My faith... I was in a Christian school, and was probably the only one in the classroom who was genuinely interested in the Word of God and I was labeled a weirdo. But the entire time my peers looked for tons of fault because in their minds I'm not expected to like this Bible we read, learn from it, or understand it. There were so many times I wanted to say, "Well excuse the heck outta me! I guess I'm supposed to not truly be saved although I am just to impress you, right!?!" 🤔😒Don't even get me started!🤣

At the end of the day I had nothing to prove to them so I kept being myself in that particular situation. I was even pulled on a few times by teachers to pray and they weren't as kind to me either, but they knew they could depend on me to pray, and that I would do it. We had all recieved "citizenship awards" for displaying Christ-like character throughout the year and some of the students admitted I may be the only one who really was putting in the effort to try and be Christ-like. Even the Word of God says you know a prophet by their fruit (Matthew 7) Jesus even goes so far to say he cuts off those that don't bear fruit in Him(John 15:2), and lets not even get started on that fig tree he cursed (Mark 11:12-25)

I'm saying all this to say even when you call yourself resisting the people who judged you by trying to prove them wrong, you're still falling into the same trap of not being your authentic self because you become obsessed with this proof you have to give to them. And the crazy thing is no matter what you do "they" are going to devalue it anyway like slave masters do. So you can work on that until the sky is green. As long as you're losing yourself in trying to prove people wrong, God won't bless it. In our own way we've committed idolatry because our hearts have turned towards the opinions of men. All we're called to prove is that His Word is real, and that He is Lord! Our works are unto him NOT unto men. If proving your worth is what fuels you then you've become a slave to people and not God. And you were bought with a price by Christ when he died for you. 

The Stuff God Blesses

Several months ago I was feeling low and I felt lead to go on a fast with a church I follow from time to time. I was at a point where I felt like everything was going haywire and I needed some real peace so I got centered in the Holy Spirit because Something had to break off. Now...I usually don't do this but literally anything that could possibly happen happened. I was incredibly irritated because my husband was sick and nothing could get done in the house, the kids seemed way beyond my control, the house was a mess, and to make things worse I was on a fast but even the food I COULD eat wasn't in the house. I was so unhappy, but I kept praying. After the fast was over I felt like there was no change, and there was no breakthrough. I just felt like I starved for no reason. Until maybe about a week later. I finally realized God was speaking but since I was so flustered and busy...I guess I took his gentleness for granted, because he wasn't being hard with me or shaking me down. His voice almost sounded suggestive:

"You know you should tell your customers what your logo and slogan mean so they won't ask you to make anything crazy. "

I had heard this before but I kept putting it off. I saw myself give a video explanation in a vision but I avoided it. In fact I just wrote it as a status on my business page to get out of doing it, but nobody read that! I knew I had to do a video because that's what he showed me months prior to this reminder. I had a client who asked me for Chakras and when I researched what they were something Rose up in me and said "NOPE! I can't take it anymore, I gotta do this NOW!" 

I uploaded a video where I explain my logo and slogan meaning and why it is what it is. When I talked about the requests from clients to make things that go against my beliefs and what my company stands for at the root I actually had an eye twitch (you'll see in the video), and it was real, because people have asked me to make all types of stuff and I had to be forthcoming because I'd been holding it in wondering if I was making the right choice to be this reserved. I was only thinking about the money I might miss and not why I loved to do this in the first place. After I got over seeing who wouldn't be a client I saw that my Target Market had been made very clear and a weight felt like it had been lifted off of me that day after I posted it! I also felt like I was able to be my authentic self. 

At the beginning when I first started Kana Wear I was a believers brand! As life went on I got so obsessed with trying to prove to people that I could be somebody that I lost sight of the fact that I started my business when I was a teenager and I was in a pure place in my heart concerning the representation of God in it. God came to me that day in a still voice because I needed a reminder as a 29 year old Shakana. 

After the video posted I was surprised by the response it recieved! People were saying they were blessed by my message like I was doing deep preaching and asked for more! I wasn't even expecting that, and doing LIVE videos aren't my thing, because I'm honestly video camera shy when it comes to speaking and you see it because I am constantly trying to gather my thoughts and I barely make eye contact with the camera as I'm telling people about my business! I'm glad I did it though because for the past few weeks I've felt so free, and I may have regained my buck back that I had in High School. I'm just way nicer about it 🤣. 

It's The Spirit in Which you do it

What I've learned is that God really does look at the heart. There's a song by Uncle Reese and it's called "Have Your Heart". I love it because the hook is so simple and he's singing it as if  God were saying it.  He sings "If I don't have your heart, nothing that you do for me really matters to me at all." 

So with that being said,  pride is so ugly to God because it's the one spirit that rose up against him in Lucifer and started this mess in the first place. When we get back to a spirit of service to God that's when our intentions are pure. When we allow wounds to fester and we don't take care of it that's when toxic pride and bitterness set in and our intentions get corrupted in the process. I'll even go as far to say you'll mean to do things for God, but the pride can transform over time if it goes unchecked. You'll find yourself in a place where you can encourage others sometimes, but not yourself. Where you'll watch others be blessed off the words you spoke but you still struggle. You can tell when your intentions have gotten corrupted because what used to make you burn with passion is now the thing that brings you grief. It becomes like a chore, or like that job that nobody wants instead of what makes you keep going because you're curious, and have a passion for it. It's important that we check our intentions. 

Throughout this pandemic all God has been doing is exposing the hearts of men, and then trying to reveal his own to his people. If you are losing sight of the real reason that you're doing his work you have to be realigned with his Holy Spirit and pray that you get back to that original place you were in before others came to discourage you. 

Ever since I admitted what was in my heart that's when my creativity flow came back. No one knew but even though I was being skilled in my craft because I'd been in practice, there was a level of my creativity that was gone for years, and the minute I became focused again and stopped worrying about the things that didn't matter when I first created my business everything came back. I even began hearing melodies in my head again like I did as a teenager, and poetry because I'd lost all of that for several years where I couldn't write.. and no one knew I was struggling for the verbiage. I could write skillfully but I could still tell it lacked something and I threw out many songs, and poems, short stories. Now it has been restored because I let God do the work. 

You Need God to Get It Back

Sometimes only a miracle of God will restore you back to that place of having that creative flow, that ability that you once had that was blessed. I'm saying it like that because sometimes we get into a place where we think that we can restore ourselves back when that indeed is God's job. We have no power to restore ourselves on our own. We need to first admit how broken we are in order to get to that place where God can do the work in us. 

We can't get anywhere without having transparency! So in prayer when you pray for the anointing to be restored (because that's what it is). You need to admit that if you had pride how much of a hinderance it was over the years, and ask God to take you back to that place you were when your intentions were more like his. 

When I was praying for my creativity to come back I'd shaken off money as the motive. At thai point I was just wanted my joy back for the craft. I missed the peace and the passion I once had. As a kid I was doing what I loved which was crafting with my hands, and I prayed then that if I could stay in that place and monetize it then I would. I always felt at my best in that space with my art and my Bible in prayer. That's how I ended up a teenage entrepreneur. The Lord would speak to me suggestively even then about my designs and the curiosity would drive me and my passion for it would burn so much I was burning the midnight oil creating the things he'd suggested. I wanted to enjoy the creative process again where I felt free and curious like 14 year old me. After that I started feeling a little change each day. My passions became passionate again and the chore like feeling of a job was gone!

Sum it Up!

If you are like me and absolutely need points then here it is.

1. Don't leave soul wounds unchecked because they will corrupt your intentions.

2. God won't bless something you're doing in the wrong spirit even if you feel like you're doing it for him.

3. Let God Purify your intentions and then RESTORE.

I'm going to say this last thing and I hope it will prick your soul. Nobody said to stop being transparent with God about the issues in your life. What's so hard about telling an all knowing God that you are hurt? He knows anyway because he looks at the heart. You don't have to be on display or anything when you tell him about your pain, you just gotta be real with him about it. Let the raw emotion out. That's what I mean by be broken before God. Ask him for actual help! He can be whatever it is you need. He really is a Father, could even be a mother, a counselor,  a teacher.  Whatever you need He is! I've recently arrested calling Him my All in All because he's always filling a hole in my life. I've been praying so long for God to be a counselor and a teacher that I finally started to see where the Holy Spirit was both of those even when I wasn't paying attention. I said in a live that we don't let God truly be a counselor-or an anything. Just the other day I saw this scripture and said "Look at the Lord being a counselor right here! 

I took this scripture so seriously! I knew I had some heavy things in my heart, but I also knew the Lord had a Word to cheer me up. 

We have many voids because of abandonment or rejection and yet we don't ask him to fill those holes. He can be our restoration back to a certain state of heart, and no one is too far off from his love. Why? Because His Word Says so!!!

Romans 8:38-39

38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.